Militant Ginger was born the third child of a hard-working accountant and talented writer; which offers no clue whatsoever as to how grew up to be a prolific hack who is terrible at maths.
Adorably ginger, Militant’s earliest memories include riding German Shepherds like they were ponies, pushing Swiss boys into swimming pools in Spain and wearing hand-me-down clothing that ensured 1970s fashion stayed in style until about 1985.
Militant Ginger’s mother refused to cut his curly ginger hair from an early age, perhaps believing that his ginger bouffant was the source of his power.
Unfortunately this, combined with occasionally wearing his sister’s hand-me-down dungarees, meant that the little boy “Rols” was occasionally mistaken for a little girl, “Rose.”
Rural Hampshire was not the ideal venue for highway robbery
Unsurprisingly, this caused deep-seated, psychological issues which Militant Ginger still milks for free drinks and female attention to this day.
During his formative years, influenced by his brother, Militant Ginger engaged in a brief and largely unsuccessful career as a highwayman.
Although profits were slim, this ignited a love of ridiculous headwear that Militant Ginger retains to this day.
Later, Militant Ginger transformed his affection for mounted larceny into a love of impractical (and occasionally immobile) classic cars – which grew steadily larger and more ridiculous as time went on.
Militant Ginger is always accompanied by the whiff of petrol
In the early years of the 21st century, Militant Ginger traveled abroad and spent several years working and exploring France and the United States.
During that time, he met and fell in love with a beautiful cocktail waitress who inexplicably returned his affections.
Despite stringent visa regulations, deportation and the attentions of Homeland Security, their union was finally formalized on a sandy beach in the Bahamas; and Militant Ginger and Mummy Militant are together to this day.
Some years later, Militant Ginger decided to pursue the American dream, which was believed to be injured and limping away vaguely in the direction of New York. He and Mummy Militant packed their lives into five matching suitcases and began a whole new adventure stateside.
In short shrift, a Mini and a Micro were added to the growing Militant clan; and Militant Ginger began in earnest seeking his place in his adopted homeland. That chapter in Militant Ginger’s biography is, and continues to be, an ongoing story.
To Be Continued…